There is a scene close to the end of I heart Huckabees where the alleged antagonistic philosopher is explaining to two of the main guys about how life will always draw your attention outward. No matter how much you try, you inevitably get drawn into life’s dramas. I kind of relate the concept to how difficult chaos is to maintain because our brains continuously try to make “sense” of what we are doing and thus create order.
I was just thinking about that because it seems that the more responsibilities I have, such as work, university, family, etc. the less I remember that life is only this way because I’m human. What I mean by that is that I see less of the BIG picture in life. By big picture I don’t mean life plan, career path, etc. I mean the external intricacies of how things fit together.
What I’m really trying to say is that when I’m busy I don’t have much playtime to think about what I would naturally be thinking about if I didn’t have anything external demanding my attention. Which, in itself is a rather micro idea, one that really isn’t all that novel after all…
With many things, except money, I often do not dread the worst-case scenario the most. I dread the mediocre scenario. This is because if the worst-case happens, I am pretty damn sure that I will not go do it again. I will rationalize all sorts of reasons for why that particular “worst” is definitely not going to enter into my paradigm ever again, and I will build coping mechanisms (i.e. habits) that ward against these defined “worsts”.
But after having gone through a mediocre scenario, the passion derived from the “worst” escapes me. I have no real reason to repeat and no real reason not to repeat.
It is like a bad date, I know I will never see and/or date the guy again because of the disastrous events and feelings associated with the date, but at least I have a funny, drama filled story to tell. But a mediocre date, oh god, I could be doomed to repeat the same vanilla over and over in my efforts to force some value or at least a tickle of a feeling of excitement. But that is just one example.
The point is not to avoid the mediocre, it is to know what mediocre means and to learn from it sooner, rather than later. Identifying the mediocre makes the exciting shine.