It is sad that us 30 somethings are leading no different of a trajectory then our parents. Sad because that wasn’t the plan. We didn’t plan to live blue collar jobs where 50 cent raises every year were a luxury. We planned to make bank. Instead of getting jobs at stable companies out of high school or after our AA degrees, we went full out and got through grad school. To make what? An inflation adjust equivalent of your parent’s 1980’s wages plus a student loan. Without what? a house and a family.
Seriously, my parents had a family young because they could afford one. They had the means to make it happen. My generation had them either by accident (trust me not a single one of my “smart” friends from high school has had a child out of wedlock because we studied the shit out of birth control) or planned without an infusion from inheritance.
I set out to beat debt. I wasn’t going to live like everyone else either racking up credit cards or using their house as an ATM. But it doesn’t work. The possibilities are too abundant and salaries have declined. Everywhere I turn are people trying to over charge for the most simplest of items. $3.00 for a kitchen sponge where I can get 10 for $2.00 elsewhere. Simple everyday things that suck the life out of me. These things add up, and marketers know that. I feel taken advantaged of. Employers know we need money so they hold it against us. This world is evil. We really are in hell, our own reincarnated level of hell. I’ve known this since I was a child and I see it to be true because happiness is only temporary. We are given what we get for no understandable purpose. the fact that it is not comprehensible or apparent that we know why we are here and playing in this specific position suggests that that is why we are here. The unknowns are the key. The unknowns are our reason for reincarnation or whatever you want to call it. We are tortured by the ones better off than us just as much as the less fortunate. We can not achieve higher and fear a fall further from grace.
Be not afraid is a mis nomer. Be afraid. So afraid that you chose to help create heaven on earth. Don’t worry about standing up to the politicians, go beyond them. Create heaven on earth, don’t wait for the after life. Make the after life heaven when you get there too. Clean up hell. Don’t yield to the intimation of the under world. Don’t go weak in the knees and embrace your own mortality. Merge heaven and earth. Bring them as one and no one will suffer. No one will be left starving or maddened by ignorance and illness.
Make life a better place in all realms and dimensions. Bring the gods in harmony, let the angels sing and the fairies unite. This place is only evil as much as we let evil in. Merge the worlds and summon the spirits to pull it all together for endless mirth and merriment. Only then will this abomination of disparity cease to exist.
It’s an evil place playing a dirty trick. Everywhere are teases of happiness and absolved despair with a price just out of reach. It allows you the knowledge that you’ll fall over a cliff if you lean just slightly more forward to grasp the carrot of a day. Nowhere is the actual capability to bring the carrot closer. Everyone is fooled. They tout ideas and strategies for bringing the carrot closer as they themselves remain carrot-less as well. The only way to ever get close to the carrot is to sell your soul to the evilness. To work for the madman to keep the distractions flowing so no one wakes up from the illusion. Those who have woken up are pitied for everything they’ve lost. In this place, no one can keep their worldly possessions without paying a price to the madman. Only two choices exist: pay with all your possessions and live in exile as an unfortunate, or pay with your heart and soul working your life behind meaninglessness barriers.
Raquel sat waiting by the river for something positively exciting to happen to her. She’d had enough of the boring and miserable aspects of life. Death, loss, being broke, toxic relationships, career setbacks, etc. You name it, it’s happened. All these dark sides had shaken her confidence and belief in the attainment of dreams. She found herself going out less and not wanting to get involved in social activities because of the hidden costs associated with them. As she sat she reviewed all her naïve hopes from years past. “I was going to be great! I was going to put in the hard work necessary to make a grand living, gain respect and create my own small empire of wealth.” It distressed her to reflect on the situation in which those dreams evolved. Unfortunately, far from reality was that time of life. So small was the social circle and breadth of knowledge of how the world really operated, it was no wonder that she had once thought she could accomplish all that.
She in herself had changed too. When those dreams were stamped into her mission in life she had yet to experience her own joys of life outside the buffering childhood. The joys of solitude and general dislike for seemingly pointless and repetitive social cues were pivotal examples of how her own personality blocked her attainment of those dreams. Without at least a tolerance for politics how could she expect to navigate organizations in power or even encourage people to follow her should she wish to create her own environment? Some social constructs were fairly easy to navigate, however, those we generally found easy to everyone else as well making them less lucrative and/or just plain lazy.
In a way she was over those old dreams. After all, many of them had been accomplished so it was just a lingering few that refused to be fulfilled. Dropping the dreams was an option, but the feeling of “if I try just a little bit longer” always kept her coming back to them. The idea that she simply lacked new dreams was also toyed with. But her new found knowledge of the world shrunk her dreams to fit that realistic reality and thus new dreams were actually accomplished rather easy as they we both easily attainable with her current skills or simply dreamt up from a more practical mind.
All of which brought her to today, a place where she believed that simply waiting around for a lucky break into prosperity would do her more good than targeted action.