I knowingly bought a ticket to the known world. The place where all the pieces are planned and mapped out. Where life doesn’t just happen to you. Where most attempts to find vibrant life end with a mediocre thought of “at least I tried”. But I bought the ticket anyway because it is a place where I knew I could sit back, feel normal, and make sense of what I’d been through. Now that I’ve recuperated internally I’m looking out and I can’t help but struggle with my decision. I look back and wonder what could have been done differently in all the wildness. I guess the unrealized sense of a piece of life being over has now become fully realized. In efforts to create a new plan it makes sense to look back and list out all the dislikes in order to make better decisions for the next round. This time around, part of me didn’t realize it was over. Part of me is ready to go, part of me wants to stay, and most of me can’t afford to leave. All in all, it is good that I stepped on the train, because the known world is good for people who don’t know what to do next yet.
There are some situations in which individuals seek to experience what they have perceived actually happens to other people whose lives are more exciting than their own. The lack of naturalism causes the situation to skew, leaving people to scurry around like headless chickens when the outcome didn’t happen as they had anticipated. Aside from their egotistical attempts to not have to admit that they have messed up, they limpidly continue on the same course, boldly holding strong that, yes, they have made and are making the best decision for themselves.
They go to great lengths to keep their coolly confident composure by finding personal cheerleaders to use as friends because they offer “support” that is needed. People in these “not natural” situations cannot do it alone because they didn’t get the original idea from themselves, therefore at some point they will latch onto someone, anyone, who makes them feel better about what they lost in an attempt to be like someone else.
I think I have a diagnosis of a somewhat annoying aspect of being social. It has a lot to do with perspective, of course, but I think that the amount of perspectives doesn’t matter as long as others know enough about various perspectives to work with them.
The issue is ‘communication style’, which I think my generation (I’m critiquing myself as well) gets snotty and rebellious when it come to their own “style” of communication. I think we’ve forgotten that we are indeed, animals. Meaning that we exhibit innate traits, genetically encoded in our bodies, which have purpose for our survival and propagation. This obviously implies that our minds, being mere functions of our bodies, can in no way completely control how we communicate, therefore this “style” actually doesn’t do any good when the mind attempts to fake it.
The major niche I want to focus on is tone of voice. I realized that I am very very sensitive to how people express their words… which might sound cliche, but it is a huge problem for me. HUGE.
The argument I have heard from my fellow mid 20 somethings is that it is the words that are important, not much else. “At least he said the words” or “You’re not listening to the words I am saying.” I think saying the words people want to hear for the sake of appeasing them while using a tone that is not in conjunction with the meaning you are intending them to get, is a sly, vindictive, and cop out way of not taking responsibility for what you actually mean to say.
My hypothesis is that this spitting out of words to appease another party is what causes so much confusion after the fact. I remember specific off-tone words someone told me, but they don’t… they don’t have any recollection of saying any of those words in any somewhat similar order, even if I wrote it down….how can that be? Perhaps they were just saying words to get me off their back….but why not just say it… match the tone and words so people know what is up. Or, on the other hand, someone asked me a question with a confrontational tone and got confused as to why I answered defensively.
One remedy to alleviate some confusion would be to simply put as much effort into matching tones with intended meaning as one does in selecting words… and hope other do as well. From there, upload other people’s styles and simply don’t respond if you don’t understand.
I’m sure there are other remedies as well… but I see so much gray area in this Note that I’ve exhausted myself and can express no more.