Tag Archives: doubt

Where my mind came from

Where my mind came from

I got my mind from my dad’s side of the family.  I know this because the only relatives who completely (and I mean without a doubt) understand me at my wildest edges of the English language are from that side of the family, specifically my paternal grandmother’s side, they also completely understand my contempt for 95% of people I meet (yes, most of you are socially annoying and you cover it up by getting even more in people’s private business, the thought that no one needs you is terrifying, the thought that no one needs us is liberating… we are a different breed and we love ourselves for it).  That’s not to say that I didn’t get any aspects from the other three pieces.  I definitely gain extraordinary abilities from he other sides. My magnetism for reading and overly advance practicality came from my maternal grandmother’s side.  My hardworking ethic and royal blood (over sense of self worth once reduced to peasant status) from my maternal grandfather’s side.  I just realized that I have never met a sole from my paternal grandfather’s side of the family (aside from my grandfather himself, who passed when I was 2)… I asked my dad and apparently they were all a happy family until he moved to California with his parents from Charleston, West Virginia to California in 1957.  So I really am not sure what traits my mind has gathered from that side of the family.  But judging from stories… my wandering eye definitely originated there…. but thanks to my maternal grandmother though, I’ve never felt the urge to cheat.

The Best Good Bye Letter Ever Written

The Best Good Bye Letter Ever Written

” ‘Jane Doe’ the name I will always remember and the name that always will be close to my heart. I have been away from my home country for almost 5 years, I’ve been to Europe and Australia. During my stay in Australia, in Sydney, I met many interesting people and made many friends. But if someone in my country asked me, “Hey who was your favorite person, who did you like most?” I will say, without doubt, Jane was my favorite and always will be my favorite girl because she rocked my world. Jane, you always made me smile all day, your funny messages made me happy all the time. As I told you, I never said to someone “I love you” but maybe I was one inch from saying ‘I love you’. Well, what the hell, I love you!

Doubts

Doubts

Doubts.  I don’t know where they come from but I would love to be able to ignore them and continue on as if I didn’t have these lingering thoughts flashing through my mind at oh so specific times. The fact of the matter is that they are there and keep reoccurring.

So what am I going to do about it? I don’t really know. Doubt, to an extent, is inevitable because it serves to sober you from some sort of ecstasy by lifting you way up in the sky where you think can see clearly all the players in the game and pass judgment outside yourself. In this it is deceiving. Doubt is an emotion, so by using one emotion to view others, you’re essentially still acting emotionally. No one emotion has all the answers, yet in our craving of one, we must encounter the others. This check-and-balance system, which I am assuming I learned from somewhere, needs to be monitored even for the dry emotions because I need to figure out what blanks they are filling in.