Often, when deep inside of life being a certain way, I, by habit, forget that it can operate in many other ways. When running certain emotions I forget that the only thing that has changed is how I perceive situations, all else has kept running its course as if would if I weren’t present for it. It is my presence that makes the difference when it burns the experience into my psyche. It takes a long time to realize that what has been going on around me hasn’t been the only possible option, it has just been the option I was most willing to accept because, to get to this point, there was a certain level of accept and reject going on that lead me to where I am at the moment.
In review of my choice to accept an aspect of life that comes along to fill a need, want, or void, I find that I haven’t chosen the best. I chose simply to the point that I wouldn’t have to be bothered by making more decisions on that matter. This is simply a by product of having a lot to do. I don’t have time to continue searching when I have good enough sitting on my doorstep.
This ‘good enough’ gets me by for a while but, after more of a while, it fulfills less and less of the intended void, leaving me to further fragment my existence by filling smaller voids which constantly open up because I can’t be bothered to part with the original ‘good enough’.
or maybe good enough was the best I could think of at the time and now, I can think of better….