Tag Archives: god

How Talking is the Whole Point

How Talking is the Whole Point

“if you talk too much you might say something that upsets someone, so it is best to keep talking to a minimum.”

Isn’t the whole point to see how well you can handle someone when they are under stress?  To not want to upset someone is simply a cop-out, a brilliant dance around their emotions.  “Look! Look how well I can fool some one!  Look at how well I’ve got them figured out!”  That’s not love, that’s simply knowing that you’ve got someone at your disposal who you can take advantage of, someone who you can control to fulfill the empty pieces of yourself which you are incompetent of completing with your own mental capacities.

Someone might say you are lazy, but no, you don’t deserve that stipulation, you aren’t worthy of being called LAZY.  For lazy is a virtue due to it’s self perpetuating drive to preserve itself at the heavy cost of time and emotion.  You, you are only worthy of being called pitiful.  You waste your time seeking approval after underhanded deeds, after proving to have flirted with Satan, your self-created god still forgives you!  She is not your god.  She is your toy, a toy who at the same time does not want to admit that you are not her self-projected crush.  So fine, you be stuck in your instability.  You suffer the fate you’ve created for yourself by not just letting yourself be itself.  Go ahead, seek approval, get it, and suffer knowing how weak you are to give in to such futile existence at such an old age.  Know that no matter how far you go, your brain is still limited in it’s scope of what it can imagine.  THAT, my friend, is the metaphor we all know of as HELL.  I won’t be floating any further down the river styx on your behalf.

How Talking is the Whole Point

How Talking is the Whole Point

“if you talk too much you might say something that upsets someone, so it is best to keep talking to a minimum.”

Isn’t that the whole point.  To see how well you can handle someone when they are under stress?  To not want to upset someone is simply a cop-out, a brilliant dance around their emotions.  “Look! Look how well I can fool some one!  Look at how well I’ve got them figured out!”  That’s not love, that’s simply knowing that you’ve got someone at your disposal who you can take advantage of, someone who you can control to fulfill the empty pieces of yourself which you are incompetent of completing with your own mental capacities.

Someone might say you are lazy, but no, you don’t deserve that stipulation, you aren’t worthy of being called LAZY.  For lazy is a virtue due to it’s self perpetuating drive to preserve itself at the heavy cost of time and emotion.  You, you are only worthy of being called pitiful.  You waste your time seeking approval after underhanded deeds, after proving to have flirted with Satan, your self-created god still forgives you!  She is not your god.  She is your toy, a toy who at the same time does not want to admit that you are not her self-projected crush.  So fine, you be stuck in your instability.  You suffer the fate you’ve created for yourself by not just letting yourself be itself.  Go ahead, seek approval, get it, and suffer knowing how weak you are to give in to such futile existence at such an old age.  Know that no matter how far you go, your brain is still limited in it’s scope of what it can imagine.  THAT, my friend, is the metaphor we all know of as HELL.  I won’t be floating any further down the river styx on your behalf.

Feeling Memories

Feeling Memories

I was just sitting, internalized, on my bed curled up in a ball, swaying ever so slightly, meditating my hardest to remember where I put my GMAT score report so I can finish another part of my Grad School Application. Completely stumped, my mind skipped like a rock over the water of other thoughts that I figured might trigger the location of the report paper. Nonetheless the rock fell into the water on a particular topic of thought that I often revisit when I’m in a frustrated internal state and need a smile.

The specific moment of the thought-topic was of no surprise to me… the memory consisted of me in a different, yet sorta similar, sitting pose, gazing intently at the living image in front of me, for how long, I do not know… it seemed like an eternity, yet probably only a few seconds. In that memory I swayed, eyes fixed, ever so slightly as well, but as a fidget, rather than habit, from an over bubbling rush of a feeling that I knew must exist yet honestly had never expected to experience.

At that point I was reliving it again, feeling the flash behind my eyes as the bright blue pierced into me, the intent rush of amazement, then came the realization that it was too late, it took me by surprise, I didn’t intend to fall in love like this – in this way, I should never have gotten myself in this situation and let this happen, it’s not safe. I must have let my guard down somewhere, in sometime, but it was too late for that and yet oh so soon all at the same time. Maybe I put that paper in my night stand. No, not there either. Thank god for The Giver.