Tag Archives: hypothesis

Social Experiments

Social Experiments

The problem with conducting social experiments is that I am playing two roles. Role A is the Experimenter who, based on need for greater insight into my own behavior patterns, has formulated a plan for testing out a hypothesis. Role B is reacting naturally to external stimuli that I have placed in front of me through a scene setup depicted by Role A.

So once I find a good enough situation (recognition of which is usually a split second “Initiate Experiment Now!” resonating in my head) to conduct my experiment in, then I am still left to pick up the post-experiment pieces. Which is fine because a major part of the experiment is to see if I can replicate a specific type of emotional reactivity which involves everything after the fact.

This experimenting stems from me seeing how well I can get specific reactions out of people. If I am able to successfully stage a reaction, then I am more aware of past situations where maybe it was simply just my behavior that ruled the whole situation. If replication is not possible then I can rule out how tightly connected my behavior is to the external world.

A difficulty is that now the experiment itself becomes part of my past and thus to an observer who is unaware of my conscious experiments, it would seems like a pattern which has yet to be stopped. When in reality, I did it on purpose this time. Which may in itself mean I have just found another way of perpetuating that same emotional reactivity…. but no problem is going to be solved until it is either no longer a problem, or is well understood enough to apply an antidote.

Searching for Things

Searching for Things

Many times I search and search and search for something and finally give up and ask someone else if they have it, or have seen it, or know where else I can look. The split second after I (Questioner) ask the other person (Questionee), and just before they answer, I realize where it is.

I am not sure why asking someone is the trigger for remember where something is. But it seems that I must find out in order to skip that step of asking someone unnecessarily.

There are many hypothesis floating around in my mind, none of which seem the least bit concrete. Like maybe it is a way for me to maintain some sort of bond with the Questionee.

Or maybe it is my own mind adjusting to what I perceive is the timing of interaction necessary for the Questionee to feel confident in their bond with me.

Regardless, in this situation I am going out of my way to gather information that is already in my own head, I just haven’t accessed the correct folder to it yet.

In personal, social situations I see this as acceptable because this is what everyone in my family does when we are lazy and think we’ve searched enough or know someone else definitely could find something faster. I know that a family Questionee isn’t going to think ill of me and use this minor situation against me later. But at work (where I search to the bitter end), I could possibly be perceived as incompetent, rushed, needy, not paying attention, etc. by certain people who have acquired the thought that everyone should act like robots. It is these snooty people who take tabs solely on incidents that confirm their paranoia.

A boss for example, who is in charge of a project- that, in fact, has a the work load of three bosses- cannot possibly know what is going on all the time because the boss has no time to actually manage the project. This ever-increasing fear of the project going wrong -due to an inability to properly manage it- creates a huge fear that the project has fatal errors, which will not be discovered until a cataclysmic moment. The fear propagates paranoia and so every incident that didn’t go smoothly goes on to the list of potential huge issues for which someone must be blamed for.

From there you may as well start reading from the top because the person who gets blamed for problems created out of the boss’s imagination, is powerless to do any more than employ coping mechanisms that involve analyzing her own minute behavior so as to avoid being put in the hot seat merely for asking a question….

Communication

Communication

I think I have a diagnosis of a somewhat annoying aspect of being social. It has a lot to do with perspective, of course, but I think that the amount of perspectives doesn’t matter as long as others know enough about various perspectives to work with them.

The issue is ‘communication style’, which I think my generation (I’m critiquing myself as well) gets snotty and rebellious when it come to their own “style” of communication. I think we’ve forgotten that we are indeed, animals. Meaning that we exhibit innate traits, genetically encoded in our bodies, which have purpose for our survival and propagation. This obviously implies that our minds, being mere functions of our bodies, can in no way completely control how we communicate, therefore this “style” actually doesn’t do any good when the mind attempts to fake it.

The major niche I want to focus on is tone of voice. I realized that I am very very sensitive to how people express their words… which might sound cliche, but it is a huge problem for me. HUGE.

The argument I have heard from my fellow mid 20 somethings is that it is the words that are important, not much else. “At least he said the words” or “You’re not listening to the words I am saying.” I think saying the words people want to hear for the sake of appeasing them while using a tone that is not in conjunction with the meaning you are intending them to get, is a sly, vindictive, and cop out way of not taking responsibility for what you actually mean to say.

My hypothesis is that this spitting out of words to appease another party is what causes so much confusion after the fact. I remember specific off-tone words someone told me, but they don’t… they don’t have any recollection of saying any of those words in any somewhat similar order, even if I wrote it down….how can that be? Perhaps they were just saying words to get me off their back….but why not just say it… match the tone and words so people know what is up. Or, on the other hand, someone asked me a question with a confrontational tone and got confused as to why I answered defensively.

One remedy to alleviate some confusion would be to simply put as much effort into matching tones with intended meaning as one does in selecting words… and hope other do as well. From there, upload other people’s styles and simply don’t respond if you don’t understand.

I’m sure there are other remedies as well… but I see so much gray area in this Note that I’ve exhausted myself and can express no more.