Tag Archives: pivotal points

On Social Games

On Social Games

The most recent situation I’ve encountered is the “if you don’t agree with me, I’ll pick on you” game.  At certain pivotal points people when speaking need to be listened to AND agreed with.  If for some reason you don’t agree and you state your opinion, even in a passive “oh by the way” easy-going manner, you’ll see the split-second glare, probably followed by a few word stumbles while they take what you said into consideration and finish the conversation as if nothing really bothered them.  Then…wait for it….wait for it….wait for it…. once the topic changes suddenly the next most interesting topic is criticizing something personal about you.  This will definitely make me avoid someone for a while.

The next one is what I like to call the “set you up to put you down” game.  This one I walk into all the time.  It just works so well on me.  Pick a topic that you know we both disagree on, bring it up by inquiring about how I recently responded less emotionally supportive than you think I should have.  I will defend my reasoning on the matter to show that I meant no ill harm, “the situation has nothing to do with me so it is reasonable for me not to get involved”.  Then respond to me with something like, “well, I don’t think you’re always rational”.  And I didn’t think it was necessary to bring up the topic.

Retracing Back to the Starting Point

Retracing Back to the Starting Point

The difficulty in assessing the correct answer to the question: “What the Hell Happened?” is that most of the time I am still inside the situation when I start asking that question.

It isn’t until the situation dies down, to a practically non-existant level, that I can look back and see the starting line more clearly, then I realize where it all went awkward.  In hindsight, my first clue to most ackward interactions with people was in fact the first real interaction of the era.  Relationships (of any kind or magnitude) have eras, each of which have distinct characteristcs and levels of involvement which can and often do fluctuate.

So the awkwardness usually starts at the beginning of pivotal points, either when first realizing that the human body presenting itself to me actually is more than a typical drone/robot, when starting to hang out with someone again after a long period of not hanging out with that person, or when moving from acquaintance to friend.  Anyways, in two cases, I have to admit, I honestly loved the awkwardness of it.  I think it is fun and flirty.  The real spark of this writing situation, however, just plain sucked because it was set up vaguely from the start and remained that way the entire time.  I was confused.  In wondering why everything was so vague, I realized that it was me in the first place who kept playing along despite the fact that I can’t handle vagueness with people. My brain fills in the gaps with a bunch of paranoid crap that makes me delete phone numbers because I have no way of ever knowing if I will ever actually get to know certain people who keep appearing in my life.  Perhaps a post on “timing” or “people who don’t talk but still want to communicate” would be more appropriate.

Oh well, the sun is already coming up in another world, I’m sure it won’t take long to find out what is weird about this one.  There is always something weird, one must just be patient and wait for it to manifest and then choose whether or not the person is worth the weirdness and if I am capable of living with their issues.