Tag Archives: signs

The rant of ages

The rant of ages

I’m lost in a sea of endless chatter

Front, back, and all around I hear the banter

I sit for days and ponder what could be

Never what could have been, maybe rarely though

The ramblings stop short in certain spots

Giving me relief from constant digestion of words to derive meanings

How can so little mean so much while at the same time not be clear

It becomes difficult to cling to the signs of the sane

when everywhere you see signs of other people clinging

If the signs aren’t clear then don’t follow them

They will only lead to friends who you can never fully grasp

Don’t be discouraged by the lack of clear signals

They are constant

Instead watch for the light houses

Their beacons always guide to go places with good food and peace of mind

Not everyone is a whole person to everyone else

If you cannot see 360 degrees then don’t bother

Some beacons are too bright, trend with caution towards them

They are sirens and devils in disguise

Don’t be surprised that these devils exist

Once you’ve meet one, you’ll be better able to spot another and thus avoid them

They take human form but fit awkwardly into the body

They cannot grasp simple things like hygiene, manners, social ques, etc.

They often claim to have a devastating mental disability or horrible upbringing, yet are extremely well educated

They are essentially harmless physically but will suck the life out of you

They feed off your energy and take over your life

These are not the real guiding beacons in life

They have nothing to show you, but only see what you can do to fulfill their goals and mission

The real beacons don’t intrude

they have manners because they aren’t devils who invaded another’s body

they are compassionate and considerate humans

there is more to life than beacons and signs

but still be sure to learn which are important to you

and which are really just dust.

Greed

Greed

Greed: An excessive desire to acquire or possess more than what one needs or deserves, especially with respect to material wealth. -dictionary.com

Greed is what it is, but not necessarily a bad thing. I see no harm in wanting more. There will always be more to want – more money to make, more education to get, more guys (or girls, if you’re a guy reading this) to sleep with, more fun to have, more fulfilling relationships to experience, more countries to visit, more books to read, [insert a want here], etc. Being able to get something you want which you perceive can be made available to you very often will make you a better person who, in turn, can create a healthy environment for others to thrive in. So greedily wanting more isn’t as bad – in my eyes – as our social system has portrayed it, however when the pursuit of More causes harm to oneself or others, that is when greed lives up to it negative connotation. This is tricky, though, for the pursuer of the More, because his mind has now focused on the More and has formulated a plan for how to get more. The mind is now ill from greed, as with a flu or cold, and thus should be treated gently as such, but the mind doesn’t know when it is sick. It will then confuse a capitalistically efficient route as a fulfilling method to More.

The efficient path will always be there in your mind and you will always be looking for it, because you believe it is right for you to need it; you need those continuous signs pointing you in the right direction to tell you that you are going the right way. So you continue on your yellow brick road leaving behind those who stumble behind your efficient gait, all in the name of your business, be it the business of building yourself, of living the life you always dreamed, of getting that job, of ridding yourself of all the reminders of how you’ve screwed up, of starting fresh and new, etc. You get to your destination, you feel elated and proudly shout out to those who hail your efforts “See the More I’ve accomplished?!?,” “See my wealth of life I’ve experienced because of it?!? And you smile down at all the faces, new and old, gleaming up at you to thank them for their help along the way.

Something is missing, you scan and scan, and search and search, you hug and you hold all those around you, close your eyes even to feel for something that is no longer there despite all the beauty that you’ve convinced yourself to see at your finger tips, that you think you’ve found in all that is new and exciting to you, but It’s not there, It can’t be found, the most precious thing in your life, is gone. why? Because you abandoned it, wrote it off as no longer useful to your efficiency when you thought it got in your way. So just keep telling yourself you’ve found something better, it will help you sleep at night.

Dreams

Dreams

“If the reader reflects a little upon the meaning of the entity he calls his life, he will find that it is the attempt to carry out a definite program or project of existence. … We are dealing – and let the disquieting strangeness of the case be well noted – with an entity whose being consists not in what it is already, but in what it is not yet, a being that consists in not-yet-being. Everything else in the world is what it is. An entity whose mode of being consists in what it is already, whose potentiality coincides at once with his reality, we call a ‘thing.’ Things are given their being ready-made.” – Ortega

I’m not sure if any one ever told me this before, perhaps I wasn’t listening if they did, but I’ve figured out that it is best not to make dreams that revolve around specific people or events that are outside of my personal control. I say this because I am tired of watching things die. Friendships, dogs, grandparents, memory foam pillows, etc. If things lasted forever then yes, putting them in my dreams would be justified, but I’ve learned over the past two years that it is not safe to do that.

Yes, being completely abandoned, let down, relieved, disappointed, elated, etc are all signs that I am indeed living an eventful life, full of adventurous obstacles to overcome and push my limits through, but a by-product of that is having to constantly push myself further to trust and learn when to rely on new people as well as believe what they are telling me is true. Anyways, I now focus my future plans (as best I can) on elements that are more within my control, and it is great because when influences of others come into play it is a pleasant surprise as opposed to a “oh, I was hoping you would have been like this instead.”