Tag Archives: social games

On Social Games

On Social Games

The most recent situation I’ve encountered is the “if you don’t agree with me, I’ll pick on you” game.  At certain pivotal points people when speaking need to be listened to AND agreed with.  If for some reason you don’t agree and you state your opinion, even in a passive “oh by the way” easy-going manner, you’ll see the split-second glare, probably followed by a few word stumbles while they take what you said into consideration and finish the conversation as if nothing really bothered them.  Then…wait for it….wait for it….wait for it…. once the topic changes suddenly the next most interesting topic is criticizing something personal about you.  This will definitely make me avoid someone for a while.

The next one is what I like to call the “set you up to put you down” game.  This one I walk into all the time.  It just works so well on me.  Pick a topic that you know we both disagree on, bring it up by inquiring about how I recently responded less emotionally supportive than you think I should have.  I will defend my reasoning on the matter to show that I meant no ill harm, “the situation has nothing to do with me so it is reasonable for me not to get involved”.  Then respond to me with something like, “well, I don’t think you’re always rational”.  And I didn’t think it was necessary to bring up the topic.

The Remedy for Infatuation

The Remedy for Infatuation

Every once in a while I come across people with certain characteristics that I want to experience more of. Often times it is because their manner of exchanging communicative signals and social games is similar to mine, so the conversation keeps going even if nothing of useful substance is actually being said.  And key, we both enjoy it, or seem to, because we keep doing it.

Infatuation evolves out of wanting to interact but not being able to get enough of the interaction.  So the mind essentially improvises, to my dismay.  Now the person ceases to exist to me in their real form.  I unknowingly create an extra-added layer of perception, which I end up rationalizing as real because my mind is great at making up perfect scenarios to fulfill the excess emotion that isn’t properly stimulated by the external world.   It creates confusion between whom I’m actually thinking of and whom I’m actually in the presence of. This makes me nervous, because I start having difficulty acting normal since I don’t actually know the person well enough to know if how I perceive them is actually how they are. Thus how I want to behave is held back in fear that I perceive the situation incorrectly.   The remedy: to actually hang out with the person as much as possible until I find that one thing about the person that I absolutely cannot put up with.   This dulls the emotional need to incorporate the person into my thoughts.  Once they are out of my thoughts, I’m free of the person I was hoping they would be.